"What the heck am I doing here??"

This week I'm feeling frustrated. It's been almost three months since we've moved, and I'm starting to get antsy. Ever since I can remember I have been involved in numerous activities at one time. In high school it was school, work, cheer (high school and competative), UIL, and just about every club offered at YHS. When I moved to Austin I was attending THE University of Texas (Hook 'Em!!), working, babysitting, and volunteering in as many places as I could. After graduation I was doing my Child Life internship and planning our wedding, and after the wedding I was learning how to be a wife and getting used to the working world all at once. (I don't even know how I had time to breathe during all of that!) And now my days consist of playing with Princess, watching TV, reading, running, and housework. That's it.

I think the frustration is coming from several places. I strongly believe that God has a plan for each of us, and that He uses us and works through us every day. When we (Brandon and I) decided  to start this new adventure, I realized that God was finished with me in Austin. I had done so much growing and learning, worked with so many inspiring children and families, and been there for my little sister's first year of college. And now it was time for me to move on and for God to use me somewhere else. Well, I found the 'somewhere else', but I'm still not sure why I'm here. And don't tell God, but I'm becoming impatient.

It is also hard to go from doing such rewarding and inspiring work to being a housewife. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for women who stay at home. My mom stayed at home when we were little, and she worked so hard to make sure the house was clean, the laundry was done, and that we got to dance class on time. But right now it's just me and Princess at home, and she doesn't require much. I'm just not sure how meaningful my days are, and if anyone is even affected by them.

I know when my dad reads this he will call me and say, "Emily, God will reveal His plan when HE is ready. Not when YOU are ready." And I know, Dad. It's just so hard to wait. So like I told a friend earlier, I guess I'll just keep praying, cooking, and playing with Princess until I know what my purpose in Corpus is.

Realizations

Since our move I have learned a lot about myself, my husband, and life in general. Here are a few examples:

1. I can cook!

  When we lived in Austin and I was working at Dell Children's, I left home at 7:45a.m. and got home around 6:00p.m. When I got home I was mentally and physically exhausted from work and traffic, and I had no energy to cook. After being a housewife for a few weeks, I realized that when I had the time I actually enjoyed cooking. And the food has actually been good! Brandon's favorites so far have been fried pork-chops with mashed potatoes and gravy, and hamburgers with homemade french fries. Yum!!

2. I love being a wife :)

  Similar to #1, I had no energy left for my sweet hubby at the end of my days in Austin. He did most of the cooking, grocery shopping, and probably made the bed just as many mornings as I did. If my work clothes needed washing, he was the one who stayed up late to transfer them from the washer to the dryer. (Glenn and Darlene, you definitely raised a keeper!) Now that I have more time and energy, I absolutely love my wifely duties! My goal has been to have all the laundry and cleaning done, and have a (sometimes) delicious meal prepared when Brandon is home. And now I'm the one washing his work clothes :)

3. My life is not defined by my work. 

As you know, with our move came my status of being unemployed (hopefully not for long). I have definitely missed my job at Dell Children's and all the amazing people there, but I have also realized that my life is not defined by my work. Although I am not currently working as a Child Life Specialist, I am still the same person. I have the same family, the same friends, and I am still living the life that God planned for me.

4. Weekends are my favorite!

The past three weekends have been so much fun! The first weekend, Brandon was off and we finally got to spend an entire weekend together in Corpus. Our weekend included a Calallen High School football game, an afternoon at the beach, and yardwork. It was a very relaxing three days.

(Princess after her first day at the beach)

The second weekend I went to Galveston for my friend Brittany's bachelorette party. We had SO much fun, and I loved meeting all of Brittany's friends. They are such sweet girls!



(All the girls after dinner in Galveston)



This past weekend Brandon and I went to Austin and stayed with our friends Eric and Jenny, and their sweet baby Reese. We love spending time with them, and hadn't seen them since we moved. It was fun to catch up and spend time watching football and loving on Reese!

 

(Reese laughing while Brandon is feeding her.
Notice her adorable Texas game-day onesie that my mom got her.
It says 'This is how I roll'..Too cute!)

It's only been a few months, so I'm sure I will continue to learn more. In the meantime we found a great spot on the beach, so come visit!! We love company, and Princess does too ;)