Trying to Live in the "Here and Now"

The past few weeks have been tough. First of all, Brandon was in Oklahoma for two weeks. This was the first time he has been gone for more than a few days, and I was not looking forward to it. Thankfully I have some amazing people in my life who kept me busy. Michelle, her friend Alayna, and Alayna's sweet baby Noah came to visit during the first week. We did some Christmas shopping and had fun playing with Noah. He is such a sweet baby! This was Princess's first time to meet a baby, so it was fun to watch her reactions.

I went back to Yoakum with Michelle and Alayna, and spent the next week there. During that time I got to do more shopping in Austin with my mom and Michelle, and I finally got to see the cute bridal boutique where Michelle works. If you're shopping for a wedding dress, you should definitely look them up!!

This brings me to the tough part...being in Austin. I've only been to Austin a few times since we moved, and I can usually make the trip without becoming emotional/sentimental. Until I see the tower of Dell Children's. That's when I start reminiscing and thinking about all of the amazing people I encountered during my time there. I think about how hard I worked to go from a college volunteer, to a gift shop employee, then a practicum student and intern, and finally a child life specialist. I did so much learning and growing in that one place, and I still miss it like crazy.

Driving by Dell Children's reminded me how much I love being a child life specialist. I could go on and on about what we do and why I love doing it, but I won't. I just hope that I get to do it again someday. I've sent my resume to the children's hospital here in Corpus, but there are no positions available right now. So I'm playing the waiting game. And I don't like it.

I was talking with Brandon a few days ago about how much I miss my job. I told him that working as a child life specialist was what I was "supposed" to do. He said, "Who said that's what you're 'supposed' to do?" I said, "Well I did." He then reminded me that WE do not decide what we are supposed to do.

Once again, I was trying to take control of my life. And after realizing that, I am doing my best to live in the moment and enjoy where I am in life.

I found a book a few days ago that has been extremely helpful. And as I opened it to start reading I noticed that it came from my Aunt Verna. I'm assuming she gave it to my dad, who then gave it to me, and I was probably too busy at the time to read it.

The book is about living life in the present and taking time to notice God working in our lives each day. As I read it last night, I came across a quote that really stuck with me. This particular chapter was about the Spirit of God working in our lives. It said,

"Don't be afraid to let go of your need to control your own life. Let me fulfill the true desire of your heart."

Wow! That's exactly what I needed to hear. So thanks, B, for loving me and being patient with me. And thanks to Dad and Aunt Verna for placing this book in my life. I think I read it at just the right time :)